Feeling betrayed by a trusted friend, I talked with my husband--for hours upon hours. Most of our conversation was about resolving the underlying issue, rather than focusing on the wound itself. It wasn't pretty: there were plenty of tears. We did reach a solution that I hope will work.
If you know me, you know that I am fiercely loyal to the people I love, both family and friends. If friendships ended over every disagreement, I surely wouldn't have any friends. I have expressed my hurt to my friend, and we're talking about it. I keep reminding myself that "Faithful are the wounds of a friend ..." even though that's not what my heart feels right now. [See this post for the resolution.]
The other wound that comes to mind happened several years ago. I was part of a group where I had a handful of friends. I was emailing with Tina (names changed) about something, and she wanted to include Tammy in the loop. When Tammy replied, she hit Reply All. In her message, she absolutely slammed me and my family. I'm sure Tina read the message, but she wisely kept silent.
Then I cried. "How could she do this to me? I thought we were friends!" And this is what the Lord brought to my mind: "[I]f one has a complaint against another, [forgive] each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
I answered Tammy in the calmest way I could, and she realized what had happened. She asked my forgiveness and I forgave her. The next time I saw her, she hugged me and said "Thank you." It hasn't been mentioned since then. We haven't been best buddies--we never were--but a few years after this we worked together on a small project with no conflict whatsoever.
Even before I knew Christ, I was never one to carry a grudge. It just takes too much energy, and it's of no use. Now I also know that God doesn't waste our pain, and I know that He will use these incidents for something good. In the moment, it sure hurts. However, I am grateful that the Lord gives us the grace to forgive as He has forgiven us. He has given us the gift of forgiveness, so how can we not pass it on? We will still be wounded sometimes, but we don't have to stay that way.
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
(Tenth Avenue North, Losing)