Monday, October 21, 2013

Still Stuck in Neutral

'Divine 70% Dark Chocolate Hearts Close up outer' photo (c) 2010, Lee McCoy - license: know I keep using the same image. It just seems appropriate, because I feel as though I keep unwrapping my heart.

I am still stuck in neutral.  It's better than the deep valleys I was experiencing, but it's still no fun.  My mood is very flat, and I don't have emotional responses to anything.  Very strange.  I can't remember the last time I really laughed.  One of my doctors says this is an effect of the medication, and the other says it's part of depression.  Either way, we're still adjusting meds, praying, and hoping for the best.

What I've found is that sleep is very important.  When I don't get enough sleep, I'm much more likely to find myself in a valley.  My doctors also encourage exercise, and I'm trying to do more of that.  And one of my doctors keeps encouraging me to do something that used to be fun (nothing is much fun these days).  So I've been making tiny gift cards for our food pantry Thanksgiving baskets.  Papercrafting has felt more like fun than like work, so it's a good thing.  When the cards are finished I'll show you how they turned out.


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