Thursday, May 26, 2011

Perfectionism 102

I've blogged about my tendency to perfectionism, and that sometimes it helps just to laugh at the idea that I might even approach perfection.  That helps me to cope, but it doesn't do much toward solving the problem.

tocphoto © 2008 Sheila Tostes | more info (via: Wylio)More recently, I've read that "perfectionists are obsessives who need to feel in control at all times." That's a tough definition to swallow, especially since I've never thought of myself as someone who seeks control at all times.

Lately, though, I'm starting to wonder.

With the medical challenges that lie ahead, I keep saying that I just want to know.  By the time you read this, I will have had my surgery, but I probably won't yet know whether all of the cancer was removed.  I just want to know!

After that, I just want to know how the timing will work out.  Recovery from surgery takes two to four weeks.  I hope not to encounter any delays before I start radiation treatments, which will span either three or six weeks.  My analytical side keeps adding up the uncertainty in those time frames.  I'm frustrated because I can't set a date for starting our next homeschool year (not that I've written the lesson plans yet), I can't commit to volunteering at VBS, and so on.

Normally, I write appointments in my calendar in ink.  I don't like to change plans.  Even though I know that the future--including the next five to ten weeks--is in the Lord's very capable hands, sometimes I wish He would let me in on the plan.

Maybe, just maybe, part of His purpose in allowing me to face cancer is to remind me that, as much as I'd like to control my schedule, it's not meant to be that way.

Today's Faith Jam topic is perfectionism.  To read more, click through to visit Bonnie at Faith Barista.

5 comments :

  1. Oh, I know what you mean, Melissa. I'm the same way. I think, "If I can just KNOW, then I can handle it, whatever it is." It's the unknown that gets me. But much of life IS unknown. Therein is my problem. ha.

    Trying to lean on God more than ever this year with the unknown. Praying with you to leave our futures in the Lord's very capable hands.

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  2. He does that to me sometimes -- takes things right out of my hands. His are larger and stronger, though.

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  3. Leave it to HIM.
    He knows what is best!
    HUGS TO YOU!

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  4. Remember what I normally say? One day at a time. I've found if I only consider one day then I'm not wanting to know when and whatnot. You're so right in how situations can totally change our plans and organization. Don't worry how everything will turn out and just concentrate on your fight to stay well. Much love floating your way.

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  5. "perfectionists are obsessives who need to feel in control at all times."
    Love it!
    Loved the photo of the crockery, too - now, if I could just get my life looking like that...!

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